No Limits: Identifying and Overcoming Your Limiting Beliefs
5-Minute Read Covering My Experiences with My Own Limiting Beliefs and How I've Overcome Them
Welcome to A Founder’s Life for Me! I’m Alek, and based on my experiences building companies, I provide practical recommendations on building your company and career.
Who do you think you are?
Over the years, as I held different roles, I’ve used the refrain, “I’m not a product designer, but…” when I’ve conveyed ideas. I didn’t know then how repeating, “I’m not a product designer,” would impact me in the long run. You’ll leave this article with:
An understanding of limiting beliefs through an exploration of my own
My strategies for identifying and overcoming them
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My Limiting Beliefs
Over the last two years, I’ve said: “I’m not an engineer,” and “I’m not a product designer.”
These were all things that I said about myself that limited my potential. Fortunately, I treated these as soft limits and didn’t let them stand in the way of trying. Unfortunately, they led to unintentional self-sabotage.
“I’m not an engineer.”
When I started building my current company, SolidlyAI, I had never worked as an engineer at an established company. I had written all the code for my prior startup, GBA, but was hired into product management when GBA was acquired. When working in product management, I relied on and respected the expertise of the engineers I worked with. I wouldn’t tell them how to write code; I would tell them the problem the code needed to solve for our users.
My engineering experience from GBA helped me understand and communicate effectively with engineers during technical conversations. However, in those conversations, I’d always say, “I’m not an engineer, but…” from a place of respect. I didn’t want to step on their toes, and there was a lot I didn’t know about engineering.
After several years of repetition, I started to believe what I was saying, “I’m not an engineer.” I became reluctant to add my technical perspective to discussions and intimidated by the idea of coding again. I had convinced myself that I was no longer capable or qualified—isn’t that ridiculous? Just two years before, I had built an AI that watched me play video games and gave me data-driven insights on improving!
The repetition of “I’m not an engineer” eventually impacted me in other ways:
When I started building SolidlyAI, I considered bringing on engineering help instead of writing code myself, which would add significant costs and risks.
When I finally started writing code, I had less confidence in the code I’d written.
As a result, starting to code was mentally taxing. Whenever I hit a roadblock or speedbump, the “I’m not an engineer.” refrain echoed in my head, and I considered giving up. When I finally started coding, my lack of confidence in my skills carried through to sales conversations. I didn’t instill trust in early prospects. They didn’t trust the product would reliably deliver value because, underneath it all, neither did I.
“I’m not a product designer.”
Two years ago, for every 100 hours I’d spent coding, I had spent 1 hour on product design. Of all the skills related to effective product development, this is where I knew I was weakest. As a product manager, I’d say, “I’m not a product designer, but…” out of respect for the designers I worked with. Unlike engineering, I had no ground to stand on; I’d spent almost no time thinking about product design.
The results of repeatedly saying, “I’m not a product designer,” stuck with me even longer than they did with engineering. As I built SolidlyAI:
I sparsely thought about product design, often going months without thinking about this core concept.
When I did focus on product design, I time-boxed the exercise to a couple of hours… this wasn’t enough time to learn or make meaningful progress.
Saying, “I’m not a product designer,” became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I never took the time to practice and learn effective design, so the design of my product was terrible.
Preventing Myself from Creating Limiting Beliefs
Whenever I said, “I’m not an engineer” or “I’m not a product designer,” what I meant was, “You’re more skilled at this than I am, and I trust you to come up with an effective solution, but...” So, while it’ll take an extra half-breath to say, action step #1 for me will be to adopt this new phrasing. This simple shift accomplishes the same goal of conveying respect without the negative externality of creating self-imposed limits.
Overcoming Existing Limiting Beliefs
The best way to overcome existing limiting beliefs is to power through.
I’ve endured many difficult moments to regain confidence in my engineering skillset. Ultimately, I overcame my “I’m not an engineer” belief; I can now confidently say, “I am an engineer.” You can read my prior articles for more information on my philosophies around learning and tactical advice for teaching yourself to code.
I’m at the start of a product design learning journey. Overcoming my “I’m not a product designer,” limiting belief will take time, effort, and advice from people with more skill. So, from now on, I’ll say, “I am a product designer, but I still have a lot to learn.”
Identifying and Overcoming Your Limiting Beliefs
What limiting statements have you made about yourself lately? I’m not an engineer... I’m not a product designer... These self-imposed ideas had a lasting, negative impact on me over the last two years:
I’ve hesitated to invest my time in those areas
I’ve been discouraged when I hit the roadblocks that everybody hits when learning
I’ve had low confidence in my abilities, which carried through to customer conversations
I always used these “I’m not a…” expressions from a place of respect; what I meant was, “You’re more skilled at this than I am, and I trust you to come up with an effective solution.”
To prevent and resolve limiting beliefs, we need to:
adopt the “You’re more skilled at this than I am, and I trust you to come up with an effective solution.” phrasing to achieve the same desired respect without the lasting negative impacts of the “I’m not a…” statement.
power through where we have self-imposed limits (e.g., “I’m not a product designer”) and acknowledge that “We are product designers, but we still have a lot to learn.”
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